Home Of Tong

在这辽阔的世界里，有谁能了解我心？
在这狭窄的房间里，没人能解开我心。
隐藏着郁闷的心情，却不能表露出来。
带着多少的不开心，却只能强颜欢笑。
为有他能了解我心，
在他面前我可以大声哭泣。
为有他能解开我心，
让我可以继续的向前迈步。

?????????????????

?????????????????

?????????????????

?????????????????

?????????

???????????

?????????

???????????

Things are happening so fast and in the blink of an eye, it Feb already. At times things seems to be getting better but other times it seems to get worst. I’m confused and is unsure how to deal with it anymore. I can only pray.

Praying to some may seems like a lame excuse of not actively doing something, but when everything you do seems to make things worst, you soon realize that you should take a step back and let God come into the foreground instead. Because He knows better than I do, so why do I keep insisting my way?

2 things on my wish list, less obsession and more dependent on me. A wishful thinking? Maybe. But at least I’ve made my point. Oh, I did wish for truth and openness, and not sure if it will go down as just another hope.

In the movie Forest Gump, the famous line is “life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you gonna get”. And I guess it’s 100% right. Life is so unpredictable. Someday you can be in estasy, another in complete dispair. Sometimes you feel so loved, another you feel like the world is against you. But do we let our situations or feelings control us? The obvious answer is no. The big question is how? May God grant each of us the wisdom to overcome.

The result of not overcoming can be deadly. Some might go for the worst and take their own life, some may go crazy, some may just wallop up in a corner every night and cry, yet still some may just live a life without feelings. Some are good at covering up, others not so. Whatever it is, know that you can never deal with it alone. And if you are, like me, running out of options, than seek help from the Almighty God, who was and is and is to come.

You know something? Reality will always loose to fantasy. I’m sure you know why. Reality is harsh and usually unacceptable, but fantasy is sweet and without faults. So if I am in reality, I will always come 2nd best to the one in fantasy. It’s tough to accept, but is something I perhaps need to face up with.

I’ve been having lots of struggle lately, and struggling to cope with this fact is one major issue. I told myself that I cannot loose to fantasy, because I’m real! There is life breathing in me and I can react according to different situations, so I cannot loose to something that is unreal. But how wrong I am.

I soon realize that in the fantasy world, everything is perfect. Yes, even faults in the real world becomes a good thing in the fantasy world. So I am in for a shock, and reality shows that I am not only imperfect, but a burden sometimes. Can someone be deeply in love with someone in both worlds? We may be lead to believe it can happen and that love in the reality and fantasy don’t cross. I’m not so sure about that. What if the fantasy became reality? What if the fantasy turns out to be something as real as it can be? It does complicates matter a lot more but we will never know who than is the ultimate winner. The fear is that fantasy turns reality will triumph over the old reality, as the old reality is boring, a burden, and reminds of the unhappy pass.

Are you living in reality or fantasy? Or both? I hope happiness and love can be found in the real world, as that is what is suppose to last through the ages.

I almost wanted to give up writing, but having an iPhone is just wonderful. Having found a WordPress app that works with self-hosted wordpress, I think it will make it easier for me to blog again, like what it did to make me twit and Facebook more often with their respective apps. So here I am, with my Starhub powered iPhone, writing my first post for 2010.